Something of Eternal Value

I created this blogger account a few weeks ago in the spirit of New Year's resolutions. This year, I have made quite a few of them - something I don't usually do. I don't even really like to think of them as New Year's resolutions to be quite frank, as that whole idea seems kind of flippant and trivial to me (no offense to those of you who swear by them). But it just so happens that I'm going through a sort of spiritual awakening that started right around December 31st, and so all the changes that I wanted to make in my life began at the same time, the beginning of this new decade. I wanted to use this blog as a kind of accountability partner for myself - a place where I can track my journey and maybe make some friends who are experiencing similar steps.


Unfortunately, the day that I created the blog was a rather depressing day for me, and I started off on the wrong foot. I created exactly three entries before this one, and all of them were more of an outlet for my self-pity than anything else. But moments ago, I received a word from God by means of my bathroom reader (yes, God speaks to me in there) that this blog needs to be more than that. Despite the age that we live in, where we vainly update our facebook statuses and twitter accounts because we are sure we are so important that everyone must want to know what we are doing right now, and despite the seeming contradiction of the fact that I even have a blog that assumes others want to know what I think, I want to use this as some sort of ministry tool.


Because what I read today in my "Truth for Today" devotional by John MacArthur, the book that resides faithfully on top of my toilet tank just in case I feel like picking up some light reading in the restroom, really hit home with me. Today's installment was an anecdote based on Romans 1:11 - "I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift, so that you may be established." It was about a Sunday school teacher who was convicted that she wasn't adequately preparing her lessons for her students, and that she needed to stop attending football games on Saturdays until she had "something of eternal value" prepared to share with them the next day.


You see, I am considering making (even more) changes in my life - I am considering committing myself to my church in a role that demands that I adequately prepare my soul each morning to serve God. As of right now, I am a new mother to a three-month-old, working part-time out of my home while caring for said baby, and trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to maintain some sort of order in my home. I can barely handle what I do have going on in my life right now, so how, you ask, can I possibly consider taking on ministry? 


Because something that I am succeeding at right now, by the grace of God, is soul care. I am able to read, pray, journal, and study God's word almost every day now because I have decided to make time for it, and the overwhelming abundance I am reaping from sowing that word into my life is unbelievable! It is only because I have finally recognized that it is my relationship with Him that has eternal value - that nothing else is as important as that, that everything else can wait - that I am able to do it. And I praise God for that. 


So this is kind of an experiment. Can I handle adding one more thing? Can I make more time, commit to something else that just might bless someone?


Hopefully this blog will be a manifestation of the grace I'm reaping right now. Hopefully this will be the "runneth over" portion of my cup - the blessings that are too big for one person alone and just must be shared with someone else. I pray that it will be an encouragement both to myself and to any others who might come across it. I pray that it would have "eternal value."