Clam Chowder or Other Soup?

So last night while I was not sleeping (this happens sometimes, because I have a baby that sleeps in my bedroom and sometimes yells in her sleep for no reason), God gave me a visual aide in my head to illustrate a point to me. I thought it was kind of neat, so I'd like to share with you.


As Christians, when we are disobedient to the Lord, we are not on His path. We are, instead, walking along a parallel path. We are both headed in the same direction, but we are not together. Some of the things God sees from His path, we can also see from ours, but there are a lot of things along His path that we can't see because we're too far away. Sometimes our path will be bumpy where His is smooth. Sometimes we will hit a road block that doesn't exist on God's path.


It looks kind of like this (excuse the rudimentary computer drawing):


God's path -->|                     | <-- Our path
                    |                     |
                    |                     |
                    |                     |
                    |                    /<--Roadblock
                    |                    |
                    |                    |
                    |                    |
                    |                    |




Get the idea?


So because we're Christians, we are going the same way as God, but if we're disobedient, we're not going with Him. Sometimes we can turn our heads and look over at His path and wave, but we are still traveling down our own road alone.


Here's the example from my own life that God used to teach me about this last night. Some details have been changed to protect the innocent. Or mostly to protect me. :)




I have been fairly certain for quite some time now (a looooong time, possibly years) that God has been asking me to do a specific thing - let's say that specific thing is buying some Clam Chowder. (Again, some details have been changed). When God first revealed to me that He wanted me to buy Clam Chowder, I got really excited. "Yes, God!" I said. "I love Clam Chowder! I am so excited to buy some!" And then I went on about my life, overjoyed about the prospect of one day buying some Clam Chowder.


A little while later, I was at the store buying some Other Soup that was not Clam Chowder. I didn't want to buy the Other Soup, but I felt like I had to. I was grumpy about it and I also really didn't like doing it. God said to me, "Sarah, why are you buying Other Soup? I told you to buy Clam Chowder."


I said, "God, we can't afford Clam Chowder right now. I don't like this Other Soup but I have to buy it."


For a long time, I've been buying and eating the Other Soup. I hate the taste of it and look forward so much to the day when I can buy Clam Chowder, but it seems like that time is never going to come. At least, it seemed like that until a few days ago.


A few days ago, the Holy Spirit convicted me again (around 4am, lovely). It seemed so clear to me then that if God's will was for me to have Clam Chowder, there was a way for me to have Clam Chowder! God wouldn't reveal something to me that was impossible just to mess with me - He's not like that. There is a way!


So what do you think I did? That's right! I am still eating the Other Soup!


But my husband and I have devised a plan. We have decided to, at a later date and for an undetermined amount of time, begin practicing buying Clam Chowder. This way, we can see if we can really and truly afford to buy the Clam Chowder without actually buying it. We will still, of course, be eating the Other Soup. God must be so pleased!




I hope you didn't mind my soup analogy, and I hope it didn't confuse you too much. The moral of the story is that I am here, still traveling down my own path, trying to find a way to get to God's path without actually making any sort of turn. It's like there is a canyon between us and I am too afraid that I will fall in if I try to leap over it.


God convicted me last night that this lack of trust I have in him is disobedience, and it is sin. But I am still paralyzed by my fear! I want to do things my way, the safe way, and then eventually end up on His road when I have more confidence. But something I read in Beth Moore's Breaking Free this week really applies here: Beth says that God doesn't want to walk with us, he wants us to walk with Him! He is not going to come over to my path, so if I want to continue walking down this road, I am going to do it alone. And that's just as scary as jumping over a canyon, in my opinion.